Saturday, April 26, 2008

Why we're in Iraq: The Real Story

Pretend that you're responsible for, say, a jock strap manufacturing company in Ipswich Connecticut.

Your headquarters building along with several distribution outlets in Nebraska, Florida, New York and Mississippi, have been fire bombed and are out of operation. Your survival as the world's leading jock strap producer is at stake since a host of other producers are unscathed and are ready and more than willing to do business with the clients you're unable to serve.

You're confronted with a formidable dilemma. If you're to maintain your market share, it's essential that you prevent another such attack in order to gain the time you need to rebuild your manufacturing, sales and distribution network.

Since this circumstances is unique in the history of jock strap making, you have decided to call on your supervisory staff and key employes for their input.

Hiram?:

Sir, I think it's pretty obvious that the anti jock strap coalition-people like Al Keider, Madame Husane, Kim Jong Duck Doo and others are responsible. Everybody knows they hate our guts, if you'll pardon my French. I don't know why we don't just go ahead and pop em.!

Thank you, Hiram. It's hard to argue with that kind of reasoning. But you have to remember that,as the world's leading jock strap producer, we have a very heavy corporate responsibility, an extremely vocal union and an often hostile customer base to consider before we take any kind of action like that.

Charles?

Well, sir, I don't think there's any question that they need to be popped. But we ought to get some consensus and support from the rest of the industry before we go off half cocked and get everybody all upset with us.

Steve?

I don't see any sense at all in that. Why do we need these guys? We're the ones that got smacked and most of them are laughing up their sleeve about it. You expect them to help us out when they're the ones who are getting our business while we're down?

I mean companies like Jacque's Jocks are getting a lot of business from Madame Husane, Al Keider and the rest. Vlad's Pads and Schroeder's Snoods certainly couldn't care less about our problems since they've never liked us very much anyway.

It's a waste of time.

Shirley?

Well, I think we could count on Tony's Trusses for--support,shall we say?

All right, Shirley.....

So you and Charles think we ought to take our case to the association.

How about you Bruce?

Well, they ought to be popped for sure. But everybody's going to call us an arrogant bully, even our own union members- you can just count on it. Particularly if we pick on a sweet old lady like Madame Husane.

So I'm with Charles and Shirley-it's worth a shot. But if they don't approve, I think we should pop her anyway.

Wayne?

Well you keep stressing that Madame Husane poses a serious threat to the jock strap industry.But nobody has told me what that threat is.

At your press conference on July 30, for example, you used the word "threat" over and over, even as you acknowledged that no weapons of jock strap destruction have been found.

And in a speech on July 24, your assistant asked "How could any responsible leader ignore the Madame Husane threat?"

But, again, what threat? The vision of one that you and your minions have manufactured from grossly exaggerated, distorted or downright false intelligence reports?

So you guys want to go to war! Your problem, of course, is that not a word of it is true. There are no weapons of jock strap destruction. Even the program Madame Husane once had to develop jock strap destruction weapons is inactive.

She certainly had such weapons years ago and doubtless retained some capability -- the know-how, the laboratories etc. -- to manufacture them again. But a capability does not equate to having weapons ready to use.

O.K....

Hold your thought for a minute there Wayne.

Hiram?

Well, first of all, I think Wayne is forgetting that we lost 3,000 employes in those attacks. So this is about a lot more than jock strap destruction.

And he's trying real hard to make us the bad guys in all this.

But all I hear him saying is "well, she had the weapons but now she doesn't- she knows how but she's quit doing it-she's perfectly capable but wouldn't dream of it".

What kind of bullcrap is that?!!

Everybody knows she gassed more than 300,000 of her own people. What makes Wayne think she'd bat an eyelash over 3,000-or even 3 million-Americans?

And of course, Al Keider would like nothing better than to crawl in the sack with her.

I vote we pop her. And I see Bruce, Steve and Shirley nodding their heads.

All right, Hiram. Let's allow Wayne to finish his thoughts.....

Well, as I've tried to point out, "popping Madame Hussein", as you put it, would be a distraction from what should be our principal task, the war against Al Keider.

Would we be more secure is we pop her? Absolutely not!

Madame Husane is a bitch, a vampire and a wanton hussy, yes. But she poses no real threat to the security of our operations. Why would we waste time and money and risk irritating our partners in the industry, our union members and even our customers by taking her out?

It's just a ridiculous, extremely risky, mindless act of destruction. And you're going to be held accountable!!!

All right, Wayne, thanks so much for sharing that with us...

Why are you laughing, Shirley?

Well, if Madame Husane has friends like Wayne, she certainly doesn't need any enemies.

He makes her sound exactly like the kind of person that needs popping.

Really bad......

Agreed.

Charles? Pop her Steve? Let's get it on Hiram? I think you know where I stand

Bruce? If you're waiting for me, you're backing up.

Ok, guys, let's roll!

Wayne, please turn in the keys to your company camel on the way out.....

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Lifestyles in the 30's-50's...

Writing long pieces for this blog is kind of like wetting your pants in a blue serge suit.

It gives you a nice warm feeling and nobody really notices.

This one is highly personal and pretty long so I wouldn't blame you if you have better things to do. But maybe some of the geezers who drop in will be able to relate.

I've searching my memory banks-which are "banked" pretty high over 74 plus years-for some comparisons in life styles and work ethics in those days before all the changes wrought over the past 30-40 years by our changing cultural climate and the welter of liberal organizations like the ACLU started making things "all better" for everybody.

I'd better start by saying that this piece is not meant to imply that there's anything very special about me or my growing up years. Lots of kids in the thirties and forties grew up pretty much as I did, working at odd jobs, part or full time, to earn their spending money.

I think youngsters went to work a lot earlier in life back then and they developed better work ethics as a result.

Maybe it's because they didn't have as much handed to them as today's generation or perhaps their parents were more strict about making them earn their own way for spending money. I'm not sure, but I do know that you seldom see 10-12 year olds with paper routes or delivering groceries any more, except in small town Americana.

So this is to draw some kind of comparison with today's average kid life.

Do many kids do this kind of stuff anymore? Was it better or worse then?

As background, after my mother's death from pneumonia when I was five years old and with my father at sea in the Merchant Marines most of the time, I was brought up by my grandmother, a real study in enterprise and work ethics.

My grandmother's husband ran off with another woman when their children,including my mother Virginia were very small. To make matters worse, shortly after he left for parts unknown the rental house they were living in and all their earthly possessions burned to the ground.

She was left with, essentially--nothing.

With the help of the church, they at least had food and a place to live until she could find a job.

There wasn't much in the way of welfare or unemployment compensation back then and my grandmother had to tough it out on her own. Not so easy, since she never learned to read or write. Nor did she ever learn to drive a car and couldn't even do basic arithmetic.

The one skill she possessed-and it was her saving grace-was her ability to sew.

After many attempts to find some work, she finally packed up her sewing samples and took a bus to talk to the people at a local department store.

She knew the store sold a lot of the higher priced fabrics that affluent residents used to decorate their homes. But at the time they were farming their slip cover and drapery work out to an out of town company and, as it turned out, weren't really happy with the quality of the work they were receiving.

After talking to a few people, she was introduced to the store owner and she persuaded him to hire her to do the work inside the store for less money and better quality.

You can imagine how much my grandmother was paid for this kind of piece work in the 30's but at least it was a job and she had pretty much written the job description herself.

Because of her abilities, her high standards and the fine work she turned out, she became a favorite among the home decorators and the affluent clients the store dealt with.

Eventually two of the decorators talked her into setting up her own shop to do both the store's work and theirs and even offered to loan her some money to get started.

They helped her rent a house and to buy a couple of sewing machines. I remember it as a large, but somewhat dilapidated house.

Like most people in those times, my grandmother had little tolerance for being in debt and once she was on her feet, she made a generous donation to the church that had fed and sheltered her family. She also did everything she could to pay back the note she had signed as quickly as possible.

She hired a helper in the sewing room and started renting out all the rooms in the house except her own, the children's rooms, the living and dining room and the kitchen. This left her two single rooms and one small apartment that she could look to for income, along with her sewing work.

Her business grew steadily as word of talents got around and, with help from the rental income, she was able to pay back the debt in a couple of years and plan a move to an even larger place with more rooms to rent and expand her shop.

She eventually moved to a very large house that she rented from a local lawyer who had built a grand home in one of the ritzier sections of town. Again she converted most of the rooms to rental units and within a few years she was able to make the necessary down payment and begin to pay off the house.

This was the house that I spent most of my growing up years in; for the first few years in a small bedroom that adjoined the work shop.

I remember many nights going to sleep with the hum of my grandmother's sewing machine in the background. It seemed to me that she never really stopped working since she was usually back at her sewing machine when I got up the next morning.

Along with her sewing ability, my grandmother had a very strong work ethic and a fierce pride in the work she turned out.

I remember one night in particular when I woke up after midnight to the sound of sobbing in the work room behind me. When I opened the door, I found my grandmother standing in the middle of several pairs of draperies that had been done that day by her helpers . She was ripping out all the seams and crying as she did it because she knew she would be up for the rest of the night, redoing most of the work that was turned out that day.

On another night I heard her crying in pain, running water and opening and shutting cabinets in the small bathroom nearby. She had run a sewing machine needle all the way through her finger and was trying to remove it without wanting to bother anybody to ask anyone for help.

My wife, who worked with my grandmother in the shop for a while, will tell you that she couldn't tolerate a crooked seam or a slipcover or set of draperies that was off by as much as a quarter inch.

When she died she had paid off her own large and immaculately kept home in a very nice section of town, a large workroom that employed 7 or 8 workers, a fully furnished garage apartment and the kind of fine furniture and accessories sold by the tonier furniture places.

Because my grandmother could neither read nor write, during her entire working career she had to rely on a trusted member of her Sunday School class to do all her bookkeeping and her written correspondence.

Curiously, even through my grandmother couldn't do the simplest arithmetic, she could calculate precisely how a bolt of cloth had to be cut to keep the waste to a minimum, and the slipcovers she fashioned fit the furniture like a glove.

I've come to believe that the key to financial success in this country is as basic as just 3 qualities--

1. The ability to do something (anything) well 2. A strong work ethic and 3. High standards.

My grandmother possessed them all in abundance along with those extra qualities that define true entrepreneurs- initiative, risk taking and a strong drive for independence.

With that kind of mind set, I'm sure you would know that, other than a small weekly allowance, she never indulged me the way most parents do nowadays. If I wanted more money, the solution was simple.

Go out and earn it......

I still haven' t quite figured out how I managed to persuade Dinah to marry me. She was one of most popular teen agers in our community, has a singing voice with a range, a quality and a volume that will send chills up your spine, attended college on a voice scholarship, won our city's beauty/talent contest and placed in the "Miss Georgia" contest. Beyond that she's one of the most loving, caring people I've ever known.

Dinah's father and mother were both wonderful people-the real salt of the earth kind that made this country great.

Bill was a WW11 veteran and American Legion post commander, a railroad engineer and part owner of a automobile electrical repair shop. He was handy with just about every tool Decker ever made and did much of a total remodeling job on their house himself with some help from his friends.

He was Jeff Chandler handsome, had a keen sense of humor and a gentle, loving way about him. I remember him helping me out so many times in the early years of our marriage-once by rebuilding the engine on my old second hand 1964 Buick when Dinah and I couldn't afford to have it done.

Any picture of Mable will tell you where Dinah got her "Miss Georgia" looks.

Mable was a strong Christian and a very loving, but no nonsense mother. With Mable as the primary driving force, the entire Fuller family were faithful members of Faith Baptist Church, attending church regularly-once or twice on Sundays and again at Wednesday night prayer meeting.

While doing all the things good mothers have to do to raise 3 kids the right way, Mable also worked as a seamstress in the local hosiery mill.

As a sign of the times Mable managed it without using a child care center or having any of them end up doing drugs or holding wild house parties while she was away.

Bill was a deacon in the church and took up any possible slack Mable may have left in getting the kids dressed and on the way to services. As head of the table he also enforced the Fuller family rule - no one starts eating until the food is blessed.

Mable also wrote the handbook on thrift. I remember that when she was living with us,I'd often find little Tupperware jars with perhaps one serving( or less) of English peas in them; a single piece of leftover bread, carefully wrapped and placed back in the breadbox. "Little tads" as she said, add up.

In her last years, when Mable had to have help balancing her checkbook, I knew I had danged well better reconcile it to the last penny or she would literally lose sleep over it. I also have a touching memory of her fretting over whether her payment for the water bill would get there on time since it wasn't mailed when she planned.

I tried to reassure her by saying "Mable I just know the manager of the Water Works is sitting up nights right now, wondering whether Mable Fuller's check is on the way or not". She didn't think it was very funny and I eventually had to call them and assure her that it got there on time.

In her own growing up years,Dinah worked a part time job at Silver's 10 cent store,even had her own radio show " Dinah Sings" -sponsored by Stewart's Drive In, as I remember. Her brothers worked summers for their uncle Earl in the local cotton mill.

Although I earned some occasional spending money by raking the yard, running errands and such much earlier in life, my own first "real job"was at about age 9 or 10.

About "going out and earning it".....

Peanut Vendor

I don't think I was all that eager to work at the time. I just knew that the quarter a week allowance that I got from my grandmother didn't stretch very far. A couple of milk shakes and poof!..nothing left for Baby Ruths, Brick Bats or anything else.

My first boss was on old black gentleman known as "Monk". His peanut sales crew would gather on the courthouse lawn early on Saturday mornings to pick up their peach baskets filled with small brown bags of parched peanuts.

Monk didn't have use of his legs and his family would unload him from the car and place him on a small wagon bed with wheels, low enough for him to get around by pushing on the sidewalk with his hands. I remember that he wore a long black leather apron and he piled all his money in his lap.

He would sit for hours shuffling his change around, fondling it, picking it up in batches and letting it pour through his fingers, over and over; sometimes rolling his head around and chanting in some strange dialect that no one understood.

Monk sold his peanuts to passersby for a dime a bag. Our deal, as distributors, was that we paid only a nickel a bag but we couldn't sell them anywhere in a one block radius of the main store-meaning Monk.

All transactions were cash on the barrel head so I had to save my allowance for a couple of weeks to get up enough money to buy my first lot-a peach basket filled with 20 to 25 bags of peanuts that cost over a dollar and was worth $2.00 to $2.50 retail.

I walked to the courthouse from home early every Saturday morning, sometimes bare footed by choice, about a six block walk. I remember that on my first day, I hung around the movie house entrance across the street a bit too long for Monk since I was encroaching on his territory. I was only able to sell a bag or two before he started yelling and waving me on.

I stuck mainly to the downtown area so I wouldn't have to walk too far for a refill if I sold out. Most of my sales came on the street but I'd also duck into the 10 cent stores, hotel lobbys, and other buildings where sales were usually pretty good until the manager usually ran me out.

I'd usually be back at Monk's for my second basket before noon. By mid afternoon, I would be sold out again or down to only a bag or two and it would be time to close out the books, pocket my profits and head home.

My average profit nearly always ended up at around 6-7 cents a bag. Sometimes I'd get a nickel or dime tip but I also sold a few bags to friends at "cost".

$2.50 to $3 profit for a 6-8 hour day's work doesn't sound like much now but it would buy a lot of milk shakes, cap guns and wax lips in 1942.

Two main recollections......

When sales were slow downtown, sometimes I'd head to the railroad yards under the viaduct that crossed over them for several blocks. If I caught it at break time, the train men would be outside playing their own version of horse shoes--tossing large washers that slid in the dirt toward cups buried in the ground. I could usually sell out then and head home early.

But the big sales bonanzas would come when I could catch a troop train stopping at the station on 6th Ave. When that happened I would not only sell out of peanuts, some times the soldiers would hang out of the window and throw money to me to run down to Doc's Pharmacy, about a block away, for ice cream-small cups with a cardboard lid packaged by the local dairy.

I remember that one time I got back to the station too late and the train was pulling out.So I was stuck :+) with about a dozen cups of ice cream.

Magazine salesman

Around the same time I took a job selling GRIT newspapers and Liberty Magazine in the neighborhood.

I remember that everybody would gather on the lawn of somebody's house where card tables had been laid out with all kinds of sales paraphernalia, Dixie cups filled with Kool-Aid, jelly beans and cookies. Colorful balloons floated over the tables.

Armed with my canned story about working my way for a vacation trip to Panama City I knocked on doors, sold subscriptions and some of the single copies I was carrying around. We always had a little party after the selling was over and the sales manager paid everyone in cash-usually a dollar or two-but I never did figure out what I had to do to get the vacation.

Newspaper Route

When I finally turned 12 I was old enough to have a newspaper route-AND a bicycle!-that I helped pay for with my peanut and magazine money. I remember that it was chestnut red with the large white letters SCHWINN in script on the sides of it. And it was absolutely gorgeous!

Since I wanted my afternoons off after school, I chose to take a morning route and delivered newspaper over about a 20 block radius.

I would ride my Schwinn to the newspaper's loading dock about 5:00 a.m. and would usually be finished by 6:30 or 7:00, in plenty of time to stop off for a couple of Krystal hamburgers before school. That is, if the papers weren't late.

The Krystal was one of my favorite stops. It was a small, hole in the wall kind of place but it was always sparkling clean, done in black and white tiles and the aroma of sizzling hamburgers would hit you at the door. The hamburgers were a nickel for years and I remember complaining when they went up to 7 cents. I've been a Krystal fan all my life and seek them out wherever Dinah and I go but, honestly, they just don't taste the same anymore.

I still remember my district sales manager,a red-haired gentleman named Mr. Dudley and the unforgettable smell of the stereotype mats he would pass out to cover our newspapers if it was raining. Mr. Dudley would always have some kind of deal going for selling new subscribers. Tickets to the movies, stamps worth a dime apiece that you'd keep in little books until you got enough to turn in for a War bond. And sometimes even bubble gum.

Bubble gum was really scarce in the war years and that was a real turn-on. I remember getting word once that a popular local restaurant had gotten in a supply of Orbit gum and I peddled about 2 miles early one Saturday morning to stand in line for a pack.

For most of the year, it would still be dark when I finished my paper route but I never worried about being kidnapped or mugged or anything-EXCEPT!-when I delivered to one of the toughest neighborhoods in town literally "on the wrong side of the tracks" and hugging the river banks.

The houses were mostly shacks and I remember that often lights were on and people would be arguing and carrying on and I'd sometimes ride past a drunk passed out near the dirt path that connected the houses. Boarding houses were another scary area when I'd have to go inside and up the stairs to leave the paper in front of a particular door. You know- old houses, creaking boards, eerie silence, all the scary visions that a 12 year old mind could conjure up.

Sometimes, when I had spooked myself into a real scare, I'd tell myself that I would be all right when I reached the corner of Broad and 9th St.

Why? Because, as the sign clearly stated, the building housed the offices of the Equitable Life Assurance Co. And Equitable Life Assurance Co. was the sponsor of one of my favorite radio programs "This is your FBI!" that came on every Sunday night.

So Equitable Life Assurance Co. and the FBI were sort of one and the same to me. And it was easy to imagine that the whole building was teeming with FBI agents that would help me out if I just knocked on the glass doors.

Saturday was collection day, the day I got the money I'd earned by collecting enough to pay my bill and pocket the profits. I made pretty good money but I also learned some hard business lessons along the way-dealing with people who thought nothing of beating a 12 year old kid out the money they owed him; others that I would have to return to time after time, before or after school, to try and catch at home so I could collect.

I can't tell you how many times I heard the words "He ain't here", whether "he" was there or not. In that regard, I just loved those people I never had to dun-the monthlies and annuals that just mailed their check to the newspaper on time and I got credit on my bill. Sometimes I'd see them in the yard when I passed by on Saturdays and I always slowed down and waved. God bless 'em!

When my route continued to grow, I made my first hire, recruiting a friend to help me collect and fill in a few mornings for me.

Bobby was a great helper but, in the heat of the hiring process, I made the mistake of telling him I'd also furnish him chocolate milks on collection day. That alone set me back 30 or 40 cents every Saturday since I never told him there was any kind of chocolate milk limit.

Grocery Delivery Boy

I worked a couple of afternoons a week part time for Wilson's Grocery on lower 5th Ave. and sometimes for B&A grocery a few blocks away. It wasn't a hard job and involved mostly standing around until they got a call for delivery.As best I remember I was paid something like 10 cents an hour plus a quarter for anything I delivered. The main thing I didn't like about the job was that I had to put a wire basket on my bike. It really messed up the smooth, streamlined look.

I also didn't like the fact that sometimes the same order took two or three trips but I still only got the quarter. I usually got tips, though, particularly after a two or three tripper. So I guess it evened out.

To be continued......

Friday, August 03, 2007

Friends all ask me "John why do you roll smoke. Why do you hate the ACLU?"

It's tempting to say, "it's a Family tradition"; but my antecedents didn't even know what the ACLU was or what they stood for.

Bless 'em all-because they were spared the heart ache and inner rage that this organization has caused so many Americans with their relentless campaign to wipe our religious heritage off the face of the historical map.

30 years ago this kind of ACLU outrage would have shocked and infuriated Americans to the point that they would be demanding our courts to do something about it-or even taking matters into their own hands.

No more. The atheists and the secularists are truly winning the battle of American values with cooperation from the liberal jurists, appointed by left wing advocates for the complete secularism of America.

Oh, I'll keep railing about it all right. It's a "cold dead fingers" kind of thing with me.

But too many Americans, confronted with the ACLU's tax payer subsidized financal maneuvers and it's Caesar's army legions of brief case carriers have simply given up.

Too bad. Too damned bad to contemplate really.

I'm glad I won't be around to see the final consequences of the continued battering of our moral and religious heritage and our total capitulation in allowing less than 10% of Americans to set the standards and the moral tone for the rest of this country.

That's not what made this country the greatest on the face of the earth.

And it's not who we are!!

Or at least it didn't used to be............

P.C. INSANITY AT THE PENTAGON

By Michelle Malkin June 24,2004
WBIR reports:

An East Tennessee man who runs an organization that works to memorialize American soldiers and police officers is now battling the U.S. Army.

Bob Parker runs a non-profit organization called "Fallen Friend." Since 1996, Parker has sent special medallions to the survivors of soldiers and police officers killed in the line of duty.On one side of the medallions is a picture of the Liberty Bell; on the other is a reference to a Bible verse.

"That is Jesus' word, John 15:13," says Parker. "The verse says 'No man has any greater love than a man lay down his life for his friends'."

Although Parker has been working with all the branches of the U.S. military to send the medals to surviving family members, he recently received a letter from the Army informing him that-

" because the medals contain a religious reference, the Army can no longer facilitate their distribution."

Thursday, August 02, 2007

A thinking man's guide to dealing with Theocraphobia

Theocraphobia:

A persistent, abnormal, and irrational fear of a theocracy that compels one to vote for Democrats despite the awareness, reassurance and historical evidence that it is not present.

Symptoms:

Victims of theocraphobia often evidence such symptoms as (a) Gasping for breath at the sight of even the most innocuous symbols that might signal the possible emergence of a theocratic state-
Easter eggs, poinsettias, starfish, mangers, palm fronds, etc. Even hearing phrases like "poor as a churchmouse" can send a victim into uncontrollable spasms.

(b) Classic paranoid behavior such as crossing busy intersections to avoid passing near Salvation Army kettles, Christian book stores, kosher meat markets or Mormons on bicycles.

(c) Tourette's-like outbursts without visible provocation. Victims often scream words like "Zealot! Snake handler! John Ashcroft! Jerry Falwell! Pew jumper! Mackerel snapper! Religious nut! and other irrational and unrelated epithets for no apparent reason.

(d) An unrealistic fear of losing the telephone number of the local ACLU chapter. Victims of the disease can often be spotted simply by observing the area code and numbers emblazoned on their foreheads, palms, knee caps and other body parts.

Treatment:

Since theocraphobia is an extremely complex mental disease and is relatively restricted in scope to pseudo-intellectual elites such as college professors, news broadcasters, editorial writers, and ACLU members, research in the areas of treatment and cure is somewhat lacking.

Psychiatrists have had some limited success by inducing thorough readings of American History, detailing over 225 years of Republican and Democratic rule which have transpired without a scintilla of evidence that a theocratic state has ever posed a realistic danger or even been considered.

Those who have administered this treatment cite the most success by centering on the pre-ACLU period between 1776 and 1951 when politicians openly confessed to believing in a higher power and began deliberations with prayer; when school choirs often sang "God Bless America" and "The Star Spangled Banner" or recited The Pledge of Allegience-all without inducing the establishment of a theocratic government.

A word of caution in this regard: Administration of the above "facts and logic" treatment should always take into account the mental state of the patient which is often akin to that of a child who is convinced that a booger has taken up residence under his bed.

Counseling should therefore be in hushed, non threatening and reassuring tones to avoid triggering the classic Theocraphobic symptoms described.

Statements like "See, that bad ole Jesus didn't git yew", when accompanied by a lollipop, often relax the subject and open the door for further fact and logic transfusions.

It's also recommended that counseling not center on the fact that there are now less than a dozen religious symbols still standing on public property. Victims will most often enter into apoplectic seizures at the mention of them and demand to know where they are.

This could represent a significant setback in treatment since the counselor will have to once again convince the victim that none of them are hiding under his bed.

Prognosis

Given the debilitating effects of the disease and it's inherent resistance to facts or logic,the future outlook for victims is relatively good. With only a few minor Christian symbols remaining, mostly scattered among mountain cliffs and remote desert areas, it has become realistic to envision a time when all of them will be gone and with them, one can only hope, the victim's paralyzing fear of ever coming into contact with one.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Moonbatism 101: How to tell if you are one

Welcome to the Moonbat abattoir-dedicated to removing moonbatism from the Democratic party and the nation as a whole and to restoring the country to pre-1960 levels of patriotism, moral, traditional and religious values.

As a benchmark for further discussions, I've devised a very simple test to determine whether or not you are indeed a "Moonbat" as opposed to a normal American, herein defined as a "Rapsha".

First the terminology:

MOONBAT:

Derived from a term describing followers of George Monbiot, a radical left wing writer for the British newspaper, The Guardian. Think Paul Krugman, Maureen Dowd, E.J. Dionne, Molly Ivins, Fwank Rich

RAPSHA: (Rational And Patriotic Snake Handling American.)

Moonbats commonly refer to anyone who holds deep moral or religious convictions as a "snake handler"-a derogatory term for Pentacostals that Moonbats think is really cute.

Rapshas are rational and patriotic people who good-humoredly embrace the moonbat description for moral and religious Americans and have incorporated the term into their acronym.

The test...

Whether or not you accept all examples or statements within Group A or Group B, please check the one that most accurately describes your choice.

Favorite modern day leaders:

A. Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin Roosevelt, John Kennedy, Golda Meier, Ronald Reagan, George Bush, Winston Churchill, Margaret Thatcher

B.Dennis Kucinich, Neville Chamberlain, Ho Chi Minh, Mao Tse Tung, Fidel Castro, Kim Jong Duck Doo, Saddam Hussein, Yasser Arafat, Jacques Chirac

Favorite sayings:

A. "God Bless America", "Speak softly but carry a big stick", My country-right or wrong", "Trust but verify", " He can run but he can't hide" "Kick ass and take names. "Mission Accomplished" , "Let's Roll"

Overheard backstage at Kerry headquarters

"That's us in the red, right"?

" Shut up bitch"!

B."Bush LIED, "Discretion is the better part of valor", "Halliburton", "It depends on what the meaning of "is" is." "Does it meet the Global test?" " No wonder they hate us" "Give Communism another chance" "Terrorism is such a nuisance" "Fwank Rich rocks" "I saw Fartenheit 9/11 14 times" "Cheney and Rumsfeld burned down the Twin Towers with Sterno".

Favorite War Heroes:

A. Audie Murphy, Alvin York, George Patton, Dwight Eisenhower, Anthony McAuliffe, Claire Channault, Norman Schwartzkopf

B. Benedict Arnold, Marshal Petan, Abbie Hoffman, Jane Fonda, Cindy Sheehan, John Kerry

Favorite entertainers:

A. Gene Autry, Kate Smith, Glenn Miller, Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Betty Grable, Elvis Presley, Gary Cooper, Marilyn Monroe, Johnny Cash, John Wayne.

B. Tiny Tim, Franklin Pangborn, Sistah Soldya, Liberace, Madonna, Sinead O'Connor,Prince, Eminem, Puff Daddy, Ludicrous, The Dixie Chicks, Linda Ronstadt, Whoopi Goldberg, Borat.

Favorite Hymns:

A: Rock of Ages, Amazing Grace, He Leadeth Me, How Great Thou Art

B: Huh? What!?

Favorite memory of your grandmother:

A. Telling a state trooper to "kiss my ass" with a Marlboro dangling out of her mouth.

B. The collection of pressed chrysantemums in her Woodstock album.

Favorite authors;

A: Ernest Hemingway, Rudyard Kipling, Jack London, Walt Whitman, Louisa
May Alcott, Zane Gray, Robert Frost, Mark Twain, Emily Dickinson, Arthur Conan Doyle

B; Michael Moore,Truman Capote, Al Franken, Gore Vidal, James Joyce, Langston Hughes, Karl Marx, Bertrand Russell, Kitty Kelley, Henry James, Norman Mailer, Fwank Rich

Favorite foods:

A: Fried chicken, apple pie, sirloin steak, egg roll, beef stew, tacos, hamburgers, hot dogs, pizza

B: Spinach quiche, watercress salad, truffles, fois gras, tofu, granola, petite fors, curds and whey

Favorite sports:

A: baseball, football, basketball, tennis, golf, swimming, hunting, fishing, snake handling

B: flag burning, cribbage, badminton,whiffle ball, ring toss, wind surfing, registering voters illegally,
demanding recounts if the margin is closer than 3 billion votes, pulling down Christmas trees at airports,
mething up at "Festive Ass" celebrations

Favorite drinks:

A: Coffee, iced tea, milk, beer, bourbon, scotch, orange juice

B: Evian water, Long Island tea

Favorite Artists:

A: Michelangelo, Rembrant, Thomas Gainsborough, Grandma Moses, Norman Rockwell, Winslow Homer, James J. Audubon, Al Capp, Joe Shuster, Charles Schultz, Walt Kelly, Walt Disney

B: Andy Warhol, Salvador Dali, Jackson Pollack, Cheetah, Ted Rall, Gary Trudeau, Pablo Picasso, Various monkeys and turtles with paint on the bottoms of their little feet.

Favorite Christmas Music:

A: It came upon a Midnight clear, Joy to the World, Hallelujah!, Oh Little Town of Bethlehem

B: Huh? What?!"

Favorite television shows:

A: Ozzie and Harriet, Friday night fights, Bonanza, Leave it to Beaver, C-Span, Food Channel, Monday night Football, Fox News

B: MTV, Girls gone Wild, Jackass, Keith Odorman, Rosie O'Donnell,Beavis and Butt Head

Favorite Colors:

A: Red, white, blue

B: Mauve, pistaccio, puce-anything but red!

Favorite Presidential Candidates:

A: George W. Bush

B: John F. Kerry

Grading:

MOONBAT QUOTIENT

12 -15 B's: "Full moon" bat. 7-12 Bs: "Half Moon" bat.

Fewer than 7: Salvageable with counseling, soft words, warm milk and lollipops.

RAPSHA QUOTIENT:

12 -15A's: Handles anacondas with ease. 7 -12 A's: Nothing bigger than a pigmy rattler, wears snake chaps.

Fewer than 7: "Ohh, it 's all wriggly and stuff"! :)

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

The Moonbats missed fruit cup--AGAIN!!

You might remember the scene from "High Anxiety" when Harvey Corman rushes to the breakfast table, swashes his napkin like a matador's cape, hoists his spoon for the culinary assault, then discovers to his horror that there's NO FRUIT CUP! in it's familiar place on the plate. Cloris Leachman's nurse Diesel acidly explains-"those who are TaaaRRRRdy don't get fruit cup!!" LGF has used the comment several times.

It's heartening, sometimes comical-but sad really; this rapidly accelerating meltdown of the Democratic Party (the toes are in their final convulsive rollup and slowly disappearing beneath the house).

I say heartening because I'm convinced that the current leadership, its acolytes and icons will need to be thoroughly exorcised if the party is ever going to return to its roots as even a minimally acceptable representative of heartland thought, values and policy in the country.

In short, my liberal friends-dump the Moonbats now if you ever hope to get fruit cup again!

Just what IS the leadership of the Democratic Party today anyway?

Albert Gore, Jimmy Carter, John Kerry, Tom Daschle, Dick Gephardt and Joe Lieberman have all been pushed or voted to the sidelines-some for better reasons than others. Terry McAuliffe is thankfully gone-riding his faithful donkey "Ludicrous Hyperbole" off into the Democrats' crimson stained and rapidly sinking political sunset.

Chronic losers and memed-out word jockeys like Bob Shrum, Mary Beth Cahill, Paul Begala and James Carville are standing in the hook up line to be parachuted to political oblivion as well.

People like Michael Moore, Dennis Kucinich, Whoopi Goldberg ,Barbra Streisand and George Soros have been so thoroughly repudiated that even the moonbats don't bother to listen to them any more( No, fine, Babs-your money's really appreciated. Just, er, meet me under the bridge-OK?).

In their place(I'm sorry you'll have to excuse me for a minute while I cachinnate at the thought)Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?!! When coupled with their Eyore brethren Ted Kennedy and John Kerry
this chronically sullen group makes the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse look like little Mary Sunshines.

The only creditable presidential aspirants at this point appear to be Hillary Clinton and perhaps Wesley "Argyle" Clark unless the Democrats see something in Evan Bayh, Al Sharpton and Barbara Boxer that not a single other soul in the country does( which means of course that the moonbats undoubtedly do).

Dean will breathe some life and perhaps even some common and political sense into the party's voter outreach program. And if he's successful in 2006 he'll likely use that success as a springboard to
a candidacy of his own. In that case, and assuming that the newly rennovated Hillary does indeed run, it could be an interesting primary to say the least.

Dean's baggage of course is his up-east liberal persona and his tourettes-like, loose cannon mouth. He's a veritable sound bite gatling gun and the media types love him for it.

On the other hand, I'm sure you've noticed Hillary carefully wriggling into her brand new store bought centrist jeans. She seems to be the only Democrat that has actually begun to "get it"--the heart beat of the country and some reasonably solid political advice, that is.

On the Republican side of things Bush's audacious new initiative on Social Security could easily result in a new genre of budding capitalists withdrawn from the normally reliable Democrat bank of minorities, teachers, check out clerks and union members. People who watch their stock portfolios and Lou Dobbs more closely than feckless follies such as Michael Moore's execrable crank outs tend to vote Republican.

Finally, I'm not sure just how the Democrats plan to salve the wounds of the ethic groups they continue to offend with their venomous and silly personal attacks on respected minorities such as Condoleeza Rice and Alberto Gonzales. Clearly Barack Obama won't be ready for a vice presidential bid. And just as clearly, Condoleeza Rice will. Can the Democrats really afford to lose another 10% of the black vote?

All in all 2008 looks like yet another "fruit cupless" election year for the Democrats.

Go easy on the hash browns, buddy...



Friday, February 04, 2005

WELCOME TO THE MOONBAT ABATTOIR!

And thanks for checking it out.

If this is your first visit, please be sure to read 3 of the posts which best explain what it is all about. They are all listed under "Recent Posts" or in the achives down the left hand side of this page.

* A Thinking man's Guide to Dealing with Theocraphobia

* Last Bus to Cascadia

* Moonbatism 101

I appreciate your visit and hope you'll find time to comment.......

Last Bus to Cascadia

And it came to pass in the commencement of the second term of the reign of George Bush that the Moonbats journeyed forth from hidden aeries in their archipelago of tiny blue islands to navigate the turbulent crimson waters which had innundated their lands, flooded their caves and sorely soddened their marijuna crops.

An icy winter's mist cast a somber pall upon the sad journey from the land of their forebats, and the moonbats huddled together for warmth with their tiny "Bush Lied" sweatshirts wound tightly around them and their Michael Moore memorial baseball caps pulled snugly down over their little bat ears.

One by one and two by two the moonbats scuttled aboard the waiting Red Sea & Ohio Jubiliation Ferry that would transport them and their soggy moonbat paraphenalia across the white capped strait to the waiting bus marked simply "Cascadia".

O frabjous day! We're bound for Beulah land!

Cascadia, Cascadia! Callooh! Callay!'(1)

Oh dear Cascadia! Blessed haven from the Georges of Bush, the Karls of Rove, the dreaded hordes of RAPSHAs and the monstrous scourges of Swiftvets, Fox News and Diebold voting machines.

Dear,sweet Cascadia! Cascadia!-from whence floweth rhapsodic harmony in tune with the planets, the Universe and the French.

Where the drums of war are muted by the sighs of a thousand dancing moonbat princesses in gossamer chrysantemum lace . Where the ACLU ruleth on all matters civil and liberty and people the neighborhood Starbucks with legions of gray suits.

Where the Dennises of Kuchinch and the Algores of Bellow daily sound their clarion call for peace, love, and global cooling at just a reasonably higher tax rate.

And in that same time there came many prophets, prophesying unto the moonbats that they must turn away from their false idols of eternal protest and puke out else their bus tickets to Cascadia would be puncheth not.

And the prophets warned the moonbats, saying thusly "Cast ye down your Michael of Moore, your Al of Franken, your Whoopi of Goldberg ,your Moveons of Dot Org and your Johns of Kerry and Edwards --else your moonbat children and their children's children are doomed to forever drift aimlessly among the Bushes and the bullrushes of hostile carmine waters which will slaketh not thy thirst for power, nor suffer recounts gladly"

And it came to pass that the moonbats' journey took them over highways lined with vast cheering throngs of Republicans and red state Democrats who strew their path with poignant farewells such as "Don't let the door hit you in the ass" and "Ya'll keep in touch now, you hear?"

And by and by the moonbats landed as the pilgrims to the rock, the eagle to the moon and the snowbirds to the Disneyworld. And their joy was great and many fold as they tumbled merrily through the turnstiles

" Give me your tired and your voted out, your huddled masses yearning to kiss a terrorist, the wretched refuse of your teeming caves. Give these the mindless, ballot box tossed to me. I lift my Xerox copier before the golden door" blared the taped message from the Dan of Rather.

And it came to pass as the moonbats qued up for their cave assignments, there came a pillar of fire and dwelt upon a rock before them; and they saw and heard much; and because of the things which they saw and heard they did quake and tremble exceedingly.

And then they saw the One-descending out of the mist, and they beheld that his luster was above that of the sun at noon day. And they also saw sixteen others accompanying him, and their brightness did exceed that of the stars in the firmament.

And the sixteen passed slowly before them as they shifted apprehensively in their little moonbat chairs--the Nancy of Pelosi, the Al of Sharpton, the Howard of Dean, the Ted of Kennedy, the Robert of Byrd, the Hillary of Clinton, the Maxine of Watters, the Cynthia of McKenzie, the Henry of Waxman, the Barbara of Boxer, the James of McDermott, the Patty of Murray, the Ted of Rall, the Paul of Krugman, the Maureen of Dowd and the Katrina of vanden Huevel.

And the moonbat angst became exceedingly great and there arose a nervous chatter among them

Then there emerged from the burning peyote cactus, the One- a tall vision with lantern of jaw and heart of purple.

And the tall vision slowly raiseth it's hand to it's eyebrow of Botox and sayeth loudly..

"John Kerry reporting for DUTY!"

And the sound of moonbat chairs scraping back was heard throughout the land and the moonbat screams were many and exceedingly frantic and they sounded mightily above the crashing of the red waves as the broken turnstiles of Cascadia spun wildly in the winds........

(1)from Lewis Carroll's "Night of the Jabberwocky

Moonbat cannibalism...

"Moonbats, behold thy leaders.

Nancy, Harry, Ted, John-behold thy followers"

"Jesus" Bush: John 19:26

Sorry about that, but it's timely really-particularly given the "Jesus" Bush references around here.

It appears that moonbats are beginning to take a less than sanguine view of their leadership as they confront political reality in the back wash of a crimson tide that threatens to convert their subterranean grottoes into the 2008 version of Atlantis.

The moonbats turned on their own today-cannibalizing their offspring and hysterically tossing their leaders into the same meme spiked iron maiden that is normally reserved for Americans endowed with reason,common sense and at least a passing knowledge of the qualities and principles that made this country the greatest in the free world in the first place.

The rest of us are enjoying the carnage from the side lines and hanging on every sound bite.

Pass the popcorn, Babe...

If you want a fair and honest evaluation of the power and the connection with the American people in George Bush's state of the union speech, for once you needn't limit your news sources to Brit Hume, Bill O'Reilly or Shaun Hannity. Today the moonbats' normally reliable pablum feeders ; the main stream media, NPR, the Daily Kos-even David Corn, The Nation's court jester to moonbat queen Katrina vanden Heuvel's court-seems to have gotten the message from the heartland.

The MSM has been busy pissing off the moonbats all day by generally confining itself to the truth. Some hysterics are starting to call NPR the National PLUTOCRAT Radio;The Daily Kos is sputtering and clanking like a cold patched boiler that's about to explode from the pressure and the resulting rumble is sending out Richter scale 9s all over the moonbat universe.

For example, here's David Corn-over his shoulder comment while making his way to the higher ground.(Excerpted from column)

.."Last Election Day offered plenty of reasons for Democrats to worry. This speech provides additional cause for them to fret.

Which brings us to the Democratic response. It was middling at best, perhaps awful.

Senator Harry Reid, the minority leader, tried mightily hard to adopt the language of values. He took the folksy route, reminding viewers he had grown up in a small town in Nevada among hard-rock miners. He referred to a ten-year-old boy who recently told Reid that when he grows up he wants to be a senator. This, Reid noted, was evidence that no one has to tell the children of America to dream big dreams. Reid covered all the bases, critiquing Bush's economic policies and pointing out the flaws and dangers of partially privatizing Social Security.

But he was not much of a match for a president riding the wave of self-proclaimed victory in Iraq.

Still, Reid fared better than House minority leader Nancy Pelosi. She proved that she can read a TelePrompTer without blinking or changing her facial expression. Reid went for the down-home approach. Pelosi was a Stepford Democrat. She expressed no emotion. She did not modulate her speech.

She looked like she was reading words written by someone else, not sharing convictions that burn in her soul. Handling the national security portion of the Democratic response, she served up all the usual--and correct--criticisms of Bush. But she scored no points. In this arena, delivery counts as much as--no, make that more than--substance.

On Iraq, she repeated the Kerry plan: accelerate training of Iraqi security forces, rev up the reconstruction, and intensify regional diplomacy. The goal, she said, is a "much smaller American presence" by the next election, which is scheduled for the end of the year. But it was hard to imagine her swaying anyone who wasn't already a Bush-basher.

Pelosi looked like she had to be there. Bush looked like he was relishing the moment.

Such a difference matters much.."

Really? Red staters figured that out years ago, sport...

Friday, December 24, 2004

Airline Profiling is not racist-Moonbats and the ACLU notwithstanding

When you're bitten by a rattlesnake, you don't go looking for tweetie birds.

And I think it's outrageous that sane and rational people who recognize that fact feel compelled to lead off their comments with statements like " Gee, I hope this doesn't sound racist" as a sort of PC apology in advance to all the ACLU and civil rights natterheads out there.

They're dead wrong and don't even deserve a response, let alone an apology, from people who know how to use the brains God gave them.

I have a lifelong moonbat friend, a former news broadcaster, who is a card carrying ACLU member, thoroughly indoctrinated with and literally oozing that kind of drivel.

Here's a portion of an email he sent me in response to the airline experience of a woman named Annie Jacobsen who found herself on a flight with 12-14 Syrians who spent the entire time moving around the cabin, passing notes, replacing each other in the bathroom and glaring ominously at the other passengers. She was frightened of course and so were the stewardesses and the other passengers.

"... I remain concerned about our loss of freedoms beyond the air travel issue. Balance is the key, I suppose. I just don't want the balance to tip so far toward security that we are willing to let some extremists take over our government. Think Hitler, Stalin, etc. types..."

If you haven't run into it before, this is the standard moonbat response to logic and common sense-ridiculous hyperbole.

Mention a prayer at a high school football game and they natter about the looming threat of a theocratic state.

Mention the logic of screening potential terrorists at airports instead of hassling 80 year paraplegic grandmothers from Dothan Alabama and they lapse into their "think Hitler, Stalin, etc" routines.

With all my heart and soul, I just live for the day that my moonbat friend boards an aircraft with 16 to 18 Iranians on it- all wearing "Allah Akbar" T-shirts and sneakers with fuses sticking out of the heels, scurrying back and forth to the bathroom, passing notes, box cutters and cold solders up and down the aisle.

"Would you mind holding this gel pack while I solder the wires, buddy"?

StewaRDEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS.......!!!!!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

God Bless the Dummies...

Some of my liberal friends call the people who are trying to rescue Christmas from the ash heap of history "dumbasses" because we can't seem to grasp what their silly problem is.

I fashioned a response to some of their natterings in the piece below.

Merry Christmas Smart Asses.......

I've about given up coaching and patiently trying to explain why all the left wing smartasses are about as welcome in the red states( you know-those BIIIIGGGG!!!ones) as Michael Moore at a South Carolina Chitlin Festival.

Sure, I'm a dumbass. And you people are living in the world of dumbass right now because you're just too danged smart to add 2 and 2 and make it come to 4. You want to make a danged algebraic equation out of it.

Take a look around. You've got dumbasses controlling the House and the Senate and running your government, a dumbass on the cover of Time magazine, a dumbass dominating talk radio, dumbasses racking up the biggest news audiences on cable television, dominating the financial world and running the corporations that supply your jobs, your Big Macs, your argyle sweaters, your tofu and your trail mix, your wimpy little cars, your houses and your lava lamps.

You're dog paddling around in a red sea of dumbass right now because you went and picked a candidate that tried to tell us how to make a watch when all we really wanted to know was what time it was.

Dumbasses lack the verbal and intellectual skills to execute all those tergiversate shilly shallies the smartasses specialize in- like being able to take 8 different positions on one single issue at the same time. D lose their grip after the first triple pirouette and bang their heads on the concrete.

That's because their minds are bogged down in such simple minded concepts as right and wrong, love of country, keeping your word, meaning what you say, moral values, family traditions and using the common sense God gave them.

They're so danged dumb they think their kids ought to be able to sing Christmas carols or God Bless America in the schools (public? government? quasi? semi? hybrid?-let me think about it) that their tax dollars pay for just like they did, their parents did and their grandparents and their parents before them did. Danged dumbasses!!

Dumbass question. Which group do you imagine might be responsible for the general core rot in this country in the first place-with their misplaced notions about morality and civic duty, their "freedom of speech" defense of every egregious excess pumped out by the Hollywood pimps and their general disregard for the moral and traditional values that made this country great?

Which group defends a publisher's right to sell books on "How to Murder your Parents" and "An Anarchists Guide to Making Nuclear Bombs in your Basement"-then screams to high heaven if a school teacher says the word Jesus in a classroom?

Which group thinks that serial killers deserve lifetime room, board and workout rooms at taxpayers' expense, then nods off while doctors butcher an innocent 8 month old baby?

Which group applauds Target for kicking Salvation Army kettles out of their parking lots and complains to the ACLU because their local post office sells Christmas cards and Walmart won't sell porno magazines?

Where and how on earth do smartalecs think the groupies who instigated "lockup bingo" at Abu Ghraib got their ideas about the acceptability of such practices?

They sure as hell didn't get them from attending Sunday school or George Bush rallies!

And if you smartasses haven't figured the answer out yet, just flip your television remote or load up the latest Pimpwood release-the ones your personal saviors like Madonna, Whoopi Goldberg, Iced Tea, Ludacris, Eminen and Snoop Doggy pump out while they're building their beachfront mansions and throwing the finger to all the dumbasses of the world. Smartasses-every danged one of them!!

This country's dumbasses are trying their best to provide their kids with some moral anchors at home that don't get chopped loose the minute they enter the school house door to learn all about such smartass concepts as situational ethics ("Whatever's right for YOU !, Hon) and how all the smartass generated laws will protect them if they don't want to tell their parents they got pregnant at age 14 despite all the free condoms they got from the principal's office.

But thank (God, Allah, Buddha, Theron, Jethro, Festus-your choice. Just MAKE one, smartalec!) the smartasses are on the job to keep our kids from being subjected to words like Jesus and Merry Christmas right there in the hallways they have to use every day!!!

What to know what kind of candidate it's going to take four years from now to rescue your smartasses from those tiny blue islands you're having to stand on one foot on now to keep from gurgling crimson mouthwash?

Listen to one street smart dummy- Peggy Noonan-for just once in your smartass life. From a column she wrote just before the red tide of reason swept your smartalec tails out of your little moonbat caves.

I've substituted the word "smartass" for intellectual. I don't think Peggy would mind.....

"George Bush is the triumph of the seemingly average American man. He's normal. He thinks in a sort of commonsense way. He speaks the language of business and sports and politics. You know him. He's not exotic.

But if there's a fire on the block, he'll run out and help. He'll help direct the rig to the right house and count the kids coming out and say, "Where's Sally?" He's responsible. He's not a smartass.

Smartases start all the trouble in the world.

And then when the fire comes they say, "I warned Joe about that furnace." And, "Does Joe have children?" And "I saw a fire once. It spreads like syrup.

No, it spreads like explosive syrup.

No, it's formidable and yet fleeting."

When the fire comes the smartasses talk...

Bush ain't that guy. Republicans love the guy who ain't that guy. Americans love the guy who ain't that guy......"

As Noonan said..."People have eyes". And votes.

And write this one down, it's important( I'll wait while you find a crayon).

Because of the silly labels some groups like to hang on others, conservatives will never qualify to be smartasses. In the smartass world you need a master's degree in Advanced Moonbatism to be as dumbassed as they are.

glubb, glubbb, glubbbbbbbbbbb..........

Friday, December 10, 2004

Bedrock says school kids should wear uniforms......I'm telling!!

It's a little thing, but I'm sure that any discussion of this subject will flush out the moonbats and other assorted ACLU card carriers who will addle on about "freedoms" and how oppressive, restrictive, maybe even barbaric such a practice would be.

It's amusing really. Moonbats love to tout the communist/socialistic practices of Cuba and other "enlightened" countries who offer such welfare state staples as free medical care, free rent or rent subsidies and free education.

But if you confront them with facts such as this-that the children in Cuba wear uniforms to school, they curl up like the Texan who couldn't figure out whether to claim Texas midgets are the biggest or the smallest in the world. It's a have it both ways kind of thing with them. Yes to "free", "No" to any kind of discipline that might smack of regimentation or stifling of anything other than free enterprise or religious expression in public places.

I'll tell you about Cuba sometime, from my trip there and from correspondence with friends there that I still communicate with from time to time.

Yes, they have all the communist/socialist utopian benefits that the moonbats would love to see this country adopt. That's why they consistently vote for ultra liberal, borderline socialist candidates like John Kerry and others.

But there are a few minor flaws in that utopian society that they might want to consider.

First of all, even though there are few "capitalistic pigs"( mostly foreigners and government insiders),there is no middle class to speak of either. The lavish summer homes and three car garages are there all right. It's just that they all belong to Communist party officials.

Sorry, guys, if you want to enjoy the fruits of the system, better join, behave-and progress in-"the party".

And if you think this country's leaders have some financial motivation to fight wars, how do you feel about the communist leaders and their followers?

When they win, they own the whole danged country-lock stock and barrel!

Maybe that's why the Iraqis expected the same of us.

Until very recently if you're operating a motel, a restaurant or a car dealership for example, you're doing it as a government employe at a salary and under working conditions determined by the party since the government owns and operates all businesses. I'll deal with some changes in that which were brought about by our economic boycott later on but, basically, the government is now allowing some limited business ownership under strict government regulation and by paying very steep taxes to compensate the government for any business lost by the company store.

If you're a journalist or a college professor?

You're a government employe, my friend. And guess how much "freedom" you're going to have to say and teach all those precious ideals of freedom that you enjoy in this country. The government has some comprehensive and very specific guidelines on what you can say, teach and broadcast and lots of jails to accommodate those that don't agree.

In Cuba and the other communist countries the moonbats seem to admire so much, most workers, including professionals, are nothing more than government lackeys pure and simple. Check it out.

As you know there have been a few wars fought over that clash of principles including the one in Viet Nam where college students, most liberals and people like John Kerry and Jane Fonda basically backed the communists and their enslavement(there is no softer word) of the people of South Viet Nam.

For those who have trouble understanding this country's claim that we have fought around the world to secure the freedom of others, this is exactly what it means.

But more on that later, since this is about school uniforms................

The case I can make for them is precisely the case that the ACLU and other liberal organizations will make against them.

I think they encourage discipline, school and personal pride and a sense of belonging to something other than the streets; that they are very attractive-usually white blouses or shirts, blue ,black or red skirts or pants.Girls usually wear knee length soccer style socks.

What's even better, I know that they DIScourage: Thongs, hip huggers, knees-out jeans, gothic coats, "Hate Bush(or Fidel) or other incendiary slogan T-shirts like-well, you know what I mean. I'll have to check but I doubt Cuban kids can stroll into class with orange parrot spiked hair, nose, tongue, and eye lid staples or tattoos either.

Just the thought of that happening in this country is almost enough to make me change my politics!

I'm ready for the standard moonbat response--"discourages individualism, restricts freedom of expression, government censorship, think Hitler, Stalin, facism " and other such ACLU poowaddle-- and I'm sure I won't be disappointed.

Since I happen to believe you can have a school choir sing "God Bless America" and require school kids to dress like human beings without risking a totalitarian or theocratic state we can have some good discussions along that line.

So go ahead folks-tell me what you think. Yes or no on school uniforms and why......

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

The Moonbats wanted to "Take America Back"

Organizations like Moveon.org, People for the American Way, the ACLU, Hollywood.orgasm and a festering wad of other moonbat organizations adopted the shibboleth "LET"S TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK !!" as their battle cry in the recent election.

In retrospect, that was a curious ambition since the country they so earnestly wanted to "take back" was never really theirs in the first place-an obvious and self evident political fact of life.

That's because these people and organizations have never really supported, identified with or even understood the America that most of us have cherished as their own from the beginning-choosing instead to undermine and protest the fundamental principles that the country was founded upon.

The America that the vast majority of us are longing for was birthed in 1776, nearly 230 years ago, and was coming along just fine until the college squat-ins, Woodstock drug limbos, draft card burning and toodeling off to Canada hysteria that signaled the moonbat revolution of the 1960's.

Some of you might remember those years, up through the 1950's-when America actually won it's wars and the American people of all stripes, parties and persuasions-men and women, black and white, Christian, Jew, atheist, agnostic and members of any of dozens of other ethnic and religious groups put aside their differences and worked together to support the president and the country's best interests.

It was a time when Americans could pump gasoline at a quick stop or stroll downtown at night without fear of falling victim to a sniper's bullet, a mugging, car jacking or rape. A time when kids could attend school without worrying about a hallway slaughter or a drive-by shooting during recess. A time when the family could take their children to a movie without having them subjected to filthy language, explicit and graphic sex ,violence and inducements to drug abuse.

A time when parents didn't have to battle with school administrators over issues like passing out condoms and permission slips to 7th graders to have illegitimate babies without informing their parents-while censuring the word "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance and tossing kids out of school if they dared to draw a picture of Jesus, the Easter bunny or a Menorah.

A time when the most potent drug most youngsters dealt with was corn silk or "rabbit" tobacco cigarettes smoked in the garage or under the house; when women named "Madonna" were loved and revered for all the right reasons; when Hollywood stars voluntarily enlisted in the Armed Forces, flew bombers, sold war bonds and fought on the front lines instead of grabbing at their scrotums, disgracing the president, scribbling protest signs, wallowing around and puking on the freeways.

A time when "Rosie the Riveter" was far more celebrated than overly introduced pretenders like Rosie O'Donnell and Roseanne are today; when people like Eminem and Snoop Doggy Dog were so much chain gang fodder instead of idolized multimillionaires.

Americans have been forced to live for these past few decades in the morally crippled country that the Michael Moores, Al Frankens, Ted Ralls and other moonbat icons vow they want to "take back".

And as far as red staters are concerned they can have it, since they are responsible for it in the first place.

We never wanted, asked or voted for it. And we've been doing our dead level best for the past few decades to prevent it from happening.

Fortunately in the recent election, the red tide of common sense and patriotism reduced the moonbat empire to a few scattered shards of blue tinted flotsam drifting aimlessly in a sea of red-a voter driven expansion of heart land values that included nearly all of the country except for the reliable moonbat enclaves on both coasts and a few industrialized states in the north.

As result, Americans were able to return an administration that will continue working to clean up the near hopeless mess that decades of moonbat domination have wrought upon the rest of us.

And from all the moonbat squealing, screeching and carrying on about the Ohio election results, I gather we've made a bit of headway.

Roll you Crimson Tide..............!! :)

Sunday, December 05, 2004

In Praise of a Moonbat Free Society-Circa 1945

When Franklin Roosevelt called the nation to prayer in 1945 there were no Ted Ralls, Michael Moores, Barry Lynns, Freedom from Religion Foundations,ACLUs, Maureen Dowds and other moonbats to draw childish cartoons,create "Subversodramas", flagellate the president, file lawsuits, squall, screech and raise holy Ned in general.

Americans listened, prayed, put partisan politics aside and worked together to win the war-one of the last in which this country could claim a clear victory.

Why do you think that was?

See the sentence above, starting with the words-"there were no..."

FDR's 1945 battle prayer request to the nation:

"Last night, when I spoke with you about the fall of Rome, I knew at that moment that troops of the United States and our Allies were crossing the Channel in another and greater operation. It has come to pass with success thus far.

"And so, in this poignant hour, I ask you to join with me in prayer: Almighty God: our sons, pride of our Nation, this day have set upon a mighty endeavor, a struggle to preserve our Republic, our religion, and our civilization, and to set free a suffering humanity. Lead them straight and true; give strength to their arms, stoutness to their hearts, steadfastness in their faith.

They will need Thy blessings. Their road will be long and hard. For the enemy is strong. He may hurl back our forces. Success may not come with rushing speed, but we shall return again and again; and we know that by Thy grace, and by the righteousness of our cause, our sons will triumph."

Read Roosevelt's prayer carefully, printed and broadcast to the nation some 50 years ago.

What do you think the moonbat response would be if George Bush called for such a "National Day of Prayer" today?

Saturday, December 04, 2004

The Pledge and The Rock......

This nation's heritage and moral backbone weren't formed in toney Manhattan apartments or on the mean streets of the urban ghetto.

Their genesis is the potato fields and creaky wooden floors of the small rural churches and schoolhouses that formed the epicenter of the community so many decades ago.

They were formed amid the sounds of "Rock of Ages" sung by the church choir at the 10 o'clock service, the smack of erasers and the chalk dust on the school house steps and the words " I Pledge Allegiance" echoing through the hallways.

Back then the school ground screams were those of laughing children playing dodge ball or perhaps an outraged youngster whose pigtails had just been dipped in the inkwell. If the crack of a rifle was heard, it was aimed at a tin can or a squirrel and not at a classmate or a teacher.

In my grammar and high school days, we recited the Pledge of Allegiance often. Not every day perhaps but certainly often enough to know the words by heart-as did all my teachers.

And to be perfectly honest with you, I never heard one single person in all those school years complain about it. Not one who felt "uncomfortable" pressured or abused of their civil rights.

Not one.

Ever..........

Even some readers who will vigorously defend the ACLU's assault on the Pledge of Allegiance took part in that brief but important ceremony without a thought or hesitation, a whimper or filing a law suit. Now however, having "seen the light" I suppose, they are active, dues paying, card carrying ACLU members.

It's truly sad, what this country has come to in allowing the courts to crush the civil rights of the 90% plus majority of American who are proud of their country and their heritage and don't mind showing it. Even in my brightest non-White Horse periods, I can't begin to figure out what has happened here, or why.

In fact I can even empathize with Michael Moore's book title "Dude,what's happened to my country?" or something like that-although we have entirely different views of the changes that have taken place.

So maybe somebody, perhaps one of the ACLU supporters on the list, can explain it to me again-exactly why it's so important to keep the Pledge of Allegiance out of our schools.

And why the student in the news story below had to work for over a year to get it re-instated.

I'm open minded and listening. I realize that I'm dumb as a hammer in that regard so please-enlighten me-just one more time. I promise to write down every word and save it for the next time I get all waxed up on the subject........

Student wins support to say Pledge
Leads campaign to institute daily ritual at his high school
© 2004 WorldNetDaily.com

(Excerpted)

A student who discovered his high school did not recite the Pledge of Allegiance has successfully led students, staff and parents through a year-long process to establish the practice.

Mike Maberry, a sophomore at Poland Regional High School in Maine, will soon be allowed to honor the U.S. flag along with other students and teachers who wish to join him, according to the Sun Journal newspaper of Lewiston, Maine.

The student plan received its final endorsement Wednesday from the school committee after a lengthy battle that began when Maberry entered as a freshman last year.

"I feel very relieved," Maberry told the Sun Journal. "And I feel very thankful for the opportunities that Poland has given me."

The school will begin its second semester with the new protocol, the paper said. During the two weeks prior to the assembly, humanities and social studies classes will use a student plan to study the Pledge, the various views and controversies surrounding it, the U.S. flag and Pledge etiquette.

"We didn't really need to vote on it," Laurie Levine, a school committee member, told the Sun Journal. "But the board certainly endorsed it. Mike is really a great kid. He is smart and articulate and respectful."

Maberry said he received harassment from peers amid a difficult process, but he also garnered support from parents and school staff. "There were some negative comments, and it was very hard to keep both sides equal," Maberry said.

After the plan passed the task force, it went through more rigorous screening and modification through a group of teachers, administrators, students and parents who meet weekly about school issues, called Poland Vision Keepers.

The final protocol makes saying the Pledge voluntary at the high school and neighboring Whittier Middle School. Prior to the first class of the day, students will be invited via the school intercom system to gather near the flag pole in the lobby to recite the Pledge.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Ain't no man never landed on no moon....

About the only thing I even mildly respect about the ACLU is it's stubborn adherence to blind principle, even in the face of mountains of evidence that prove them dead wrong.

While many other organizations share their dogged devotion to truth as they see it--The Flat Earth Society, The Holocaust Never Happened Foundation, The "The ain't no Man never landed on no moon" Brotherhood and others-none are able to attract the funding and the attention that the ACLU does; mainly because those other organizations have such scant appeal to moonbats.

For the sake of objectivity, pretend that you just arrived from another planet and the only thing you knew about America was that 3,000 of it's citizens were murdered by young middle eastern Muslims who had slipped into the country illegally; that the president vowed to do his best to keep something like that from happening again and had directed the FBI to get busy rooting out potential copy cats.

ACLU news release....

ACLU Files First-Ever Challenge to USA PATRIOT Act, Citing Radical Expansion of FBI Powers

DETROIT – The American Civil Liberties Union today filed the first legal challenge to the USA PATRIOT Act, taking aim at a section of the controversial law that vastly expands the power of FBI agents to secretly obtain records and personal belongings of innocent people in the United States, including citizens and permanent residents.

“Ordinary Americans should not have to worry that the FBI is rifling through their medical records, seizing their personal papers, or forcing charities and advocacy groups to divulge membership lists,” said Ann Beeson, Associate Legal Director of the ACLU and the lead attorney in the lawsuit. 

“We know from our clients that the FBI is once again targeting ethnic, religious, and political minority communities disproportionately,” she added. “Investing the FBI with unchecked authority to monitor the activities of innocent people is an invitation to abuse, a waste of resources, and is certainly not making any of us any safer.”

I'm sure you picked up the key phrases in Ann's lament...

"Why are you fascists talking to all those innocent people?!!!

Uh, well, Ma'am, it's mainly because we don't exactly know which ones are guilty until we can check them out. If we did, I guess we wouldn't have needed the Patriot Act in the first place.

"Likely story! You thugs are picking on ethnic, religious and political minorities and the ACLU is simply not going to stand for it"!!!!

Hmmm....er... Ma'am we're trying to find members of the same group that hijacked 4 airplanes and destroyed a sizable area of downtown New York City.

So far no one has told us there were any Presbyterians, Girl Scouts or paraplegics from North Dakota involved in the crime. But if you have any evidence............?

"Well, you're certainly not making any of us any safer..!!!

Maybe not, Ma'am, but we're sure trying and I guess we don't really know that just yet, do we?

By the way, since nothing like that has happened in over three years now, I'm really curious how you can be so sure that Americans aren't any safer .

Do you happen to have any first hand knowledge of similar plots that might be brewing ?

Mind if we have a chat with your staff members?

Just routine, you understand.......

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Don't like the plaques? Better check with Claude....

In case you thought the watchdogs at the ACLU, Freedom from Religion and other chronic hyperventilators of the left had better things to do; what with The Patriot Act, Airline Profiling, Intelligence reform and all; I thought I'd pass on the todoo that took place recently at the Grand Canyon.

Seems the moonbats, like boll weevils and deer ticks, are just about everywhere-heads swiveling around, note books at the ready, paranoia racing at mach speed; searching diligently for the faintest sign that somebody, somewhere might want to express their belief that there is a higher power at work in the universe.

Comfortable with their total destruction of the free speech values contained in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, they have now apparently launched Phase 3 of their religious purge; sending out search/swat teams to find and eradicate any remaining vestiges of what they consider "government sponsored " religion in the country.

In this instance, it seems that one of their ferrets, hanging upside down off a precipice in the Grand Canyon, spotted a small rusted plaque that was placed there more than 3 decades ago by the Evangelical Sisters of Mary.

Once recovered from his understandable trauma at confronting a religious symbol, the moonbat's agonized screech could be heard to echo all the way back to New York and the headquarters of the Freedom from Religion Foundation.

Buttressed by several tons of judicial court "writs" and an armada of FFR and ACLU gray suits with the local constable in tow, the moonbats were ultimately successful in prising the Sister's tiny plaque loose from it's hidden aerie in the cliffs-just in time to head off a ground swell of religious zealots demanding that the Grand Canyon be declared a church-state.

The FFR's only obstacle in the entire removal process, however, was a park ranger named Claude.

Claude carefully examined the tiny plaque, read it's message several times and confessed that he just couldn't figure out where the problem was.

So Claude put it back, right where the sisters left it 33 years ago.

"Didn't seem to hurt nobody all these years. Besides, it's got kind of a historical value. Visitors like seeing it and I ain't heard nobody complain until now. Can't figure out what the fuss is all about.."

But, of course, Claude failed to reckon with Annie Laurie Gaylor, the FFR and Nadine Strosser...

Religious plaques are back up at Grand Canyon
Mark Shaffer
The Arizona Republic
Jul. 23, 2003 01:34 PM

FLAGSTAFF - The Grand Canyon's religious plaques are back.

Park Service rangers reinstalled three bronze plaques inscribed with biblical passages at scenic overlooks on the South Rim on Wednesday, said Gerry Gaumer, a spokesman for the national Park Service in Washington.

The plaques had been taken down in early July after the national capitol chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union had expressed concern that the religious messages on federal property violate the U.S. Constitution and the separation of church and state.

Gaumer said that Don Murphy, deputy director of the Park Service, ordered that the plaques be returned to the Hermit's Rest, Lookout Studio and Desert View scenic overviews pending further legal review and analysis by the agency's attorneys. Gaumer said he did not know how long the review would take.

The Evangelical Sisterhood of Mary in Phoenix placed the plaques at the sites 33 years ago. When the Park Service decided to remove them, the group said that it hoped a suitable alternative location could be found for them within the park.

Each of the plaques cites a verse from the Book of Psalms including Psalms 104:24, which, according to the King James version, reads,

"O Lord, how manifold are thy works! In wisdom hast thou made them all: the earth is full of thy riches."

It's a pity,really.

If only the good sisters had inscribed their little plaques to read.......

" Oh, Larry Flynt, how manifold are thy works......

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Not in THIS Post Office, you don't!

You know how contracted post offices work, don't you?

If a town isn't large enough for the Post Office to build and staff a facility, they look to businesses or other organizations to contract the service out to.

Could be an office supply store, a grocery store, even a restaurant. Obviously the store owner continues to conduct his business the way he wants, within the city ordinances, and can decorate his store or office any way he danged well pleases.

In this case, the Post Office contracted with a company called Sincerely Yours, operated by the Full Gospel Interdenominational Church.

You can see it coming, can't you?

Some mistreated religionphobe spotted a picture of Christ on the wall or something, became extremely upset and ran screaming to the ACLU.

Briefcases at the ready, boys? Billing meter running? Got get 'em.......!!!

ACLU Files Challenge to Religion-Themed Post Office in Connecticut Town

October 3, 2003
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
 
HARTFORD -- The Connecticut Civil Liberties Union today filed a federal lawsuit against the United States Postal Service, saying that a contract postal unit in the town of Manchester is replete with Christian religious symbols, messages and images.

"Consumers have a right to use government services without being proselytized," said attorney Philip Tegeler of the CCLU. "In appearing to endorse the religious message of a particular church, the government is sanctioning actions explicitly prohibited by the Constitution." 

In addition to the United States Postal Service, the lawsuit also names the United States Postmaster General and the Postmaster of the Manchester Postal Office as defendants....."

As addendum , I went to our local "contracted" Post Office in a nearby shopping center recently to buy some stamps.

It's located in a small office supply/gift shop operated by an enterprising Jewish fellow named Lou.

Lou is a hard working, good natured fellow but his jaw dropped open when I told him about the contracted Post Office in New Hampshire that was being sued by the ACLU to remove all religious displays.

I pointed out some Christmas cards displayed in a rack near the window and told him that he was in direction violation of the constitutional mandate requiring the separation of church and state.

I also told him, good humoredly, that one day he'd likely receive a visit from the local ACLU chapter and he would be required to either take the Christmas cards out or give up his Postal contract.

He blinked and stammered for a moment and the customers in the store turned to see his response.

He finally said "Well I can tell you right now who I'd be "taking out"!!

The customers laughed and one black gentleman said "Amen brother"!

The ACLU is doing a wonderful job of bringing the American people together..........